Child Wellness : Teen crushes
It's a fact of life. Most teenagers are self-conscious and they want to fit in. While the pressure for many of the young adults is manageable, for some, it can become an obsession.
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Whether or not teens admit it, most of them develop crushes and may even want to date. Most often, it starts in middle school.
"This is a crucial age. This is the age girls especially can become obsessed with boys having a boyfriend, calling all the time and you can see bad habits with self worth and self esteem," said psychotherapist Meghan Lemery.
For some peer groups, teens enter into relationships, just to fit in.
"If you don't have a crush on somebody or you are single, it can make you feel very lonely and ostracized that you are not fitting in," said Lemery.
As adults, we know teen crushes are fleeting but for some teens, a simple crush can quickly collect speed, even take over.
"There is a tendency for teenagers to obsess over their crush and it's important, as a parent, to keep your child in check and make sure that they engaged in something they love and they are good at it, sports or art or acting. Keep them in a place where they can develop their gifts and their talents," Lemery said.
A concern for some parents is gender. If you think your child may be interested in the same sex, experts suggest, keep your mind as well as the line of communication, open.
"If you have an intuition that your child is interested in the same sex it is really important to get comfortable with that subject. Sit down with your child, ask probing questions and let them know you are a safe person to talk to. Confusion about sexuality can be a terrifying time for a teenager," said Lemery.
For young adults who may be struggling with their gender interest, it's a critical time and support is needed.
"If you child is confused about their sexuality this can put them at risk for depression. They feel lonely. They feel they can't talk to anybody. They are often afraid of their feelings of not fitting in. How you bring up that subject with your child will determine a level of trust and the future of your relationship for years to come," Lemery said.
If you are a parent and feel you need guidance, professional support is available.